soapbox

I always forget which is which between apogee and perigee, so I had to look it up the other day.

In the dictionary that Apple uses, it says that apogee is “the point in orbit where an object is furthest from the Earth.” It then gives a figurative definition that apogee is also “the highest point or climax of something” and uses the example “the White House is considered the apogee of American achievement.

Of course, that made me mix the two in my head and think that the White House is the point in human achievement is the point where you’re furthest from the Earth. Given the short sighted policies in a lot of our politics, you have to wonder if that isn’t actually the case.

Kirsten and I spent a lot of time over Christmas visiting the various art museums in Baltimore and there are two things I feel the need to comment on:

First, a piece of art called “Volume” by an artist whose name I’ve forgotten. I was walking through a gallery at the Baltimore Museum of Art and saw a longish information plate on the wall so I walked over and read it. It turns out that the artist drilled a well in the museum’s sculpture garden, sucked out 180 gallons of water, and then put that water into the freezing section of the air conditioning system. (The system freezes water at night when electricity is “cheap” and then uses the ice to chill air during the day.) You have to give the guy points for adding water to a system that was already in place and claiming that it’s art. (Sidenote: the BMA isn’t a bad museum, although a lot of it’s collection is paintings my Matisse, and I don’t really like Matisse.)

Second, we went to the American Visionary Art Museum. Admittedly some of the work was kind of interesting, but huge portions of it seem to be the obsessive doodling of people with severe mental problems. Frankly, I’m not sure if a lot of the work was actually art at all. If someone has untreated OCD and makes the same drawing over and over again for 15 years, does it become art? Or is it just a sign that someone needed some prozac or lithium? There were some works by a woman named Judith Scott that raise the question of art too. She had severe Downs Syndrome and was institutionalized for most of her life. In middle age though, her sister pulled her out of institutions and started to care for her. It was clear how the process started, but Judith ended up taking the things that she valued (perhaps a coin or a comb) and wrapped yarn around them, often until the objects became torso-sized, typically working for 3 months on a single artwork. I’m not really sure what to make of that.

(1) Dundergrad. n. formed from the contraction of Dartmouth + undergrad = D’undergrad, this term refers to those individuals who exhibit the baffling combination of [poor judgement/stupidity/lack of common sense/academic superiority/wealth/disregard for expensive possessions] that is characteristic of many Dartmouth students.

(2)Umfriend. n. An individual with whom one has a sexual relationship; as in, “this is Katie, my…um…friend.” (from a discussion overheard yesterday on the bus, good times.)

tech specs: shutter speed: 0.4 sec, focal length: 6mm (36mm in 35 mm terms), aperture: f/2.7, distance: 1.5 meters.

Brandon waves a flaming pine branch near a campfire on Gilman Island. (more…)

Sadly, I don’t have a picture since I was just walking up the stairs behind this gentleman. Still, I feel the need to warn everyone.

Here’s what not to do:
1. Allow your barber to cut your hair such that you have a long patch of hair available to comb over the bald top of your head.
2. Fail to comb said hair over the top of your head.
3. Allow said hair to instead hang down your back.

The longer that I’m here, the more weird stuff that I see. On Friday there was a guy wearing a matching shirt and pants. By that, I mean that his shirt and pants were made of exactly the same material. In khaki. With a suit type thing, you want to make sure your jacket and pants match, but the same rule doesn’t hold true if you’re not wearing a jacket. Oooh, unless it’s actually a jumpsuit. Now that would be cool

Two of the blogs that I read just had contests to provide new idioms and replace worn-out cliches.

Some of the phrases are worth noting.
From The Morning News:
The hand moves the mouse. (You’re responsible for your own mistakes while using a computer.)
Throw down some flowers. (Buy flowers only to get out of trouble.)
If a bird can’t fly, it walks. (Get off your ass and do something.)

From Defective Yeti:
I’m not the hero of this story. (replaces “Always a bridesmaid, never the bride.”)
The porn is deleted. (replaces “The coast is clear.”)
Boot souffle. (replaces “Knuckle sandwich.”)
Trying to find a clock in a casino. (replaces “Looking for a needle in a haystack.”)
Jeeves in a Google world. (replaces “Playing second fiddle.”)
You poop it, you scoop it. (replaces “You made your bed, now sleep in it.”)
and my favorite
Wants birthday cake on Christmas. (replaces “Looks a gift horse in the mouth.”)

…who successfully defended his Ph.D. thesis at Rice today!

I believe that Madhu summed it up best in his e-mail to me: “Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I am done. everything went more than better.”

Hard to top that, folks. Plus, we got ourselves a new superlative phrase: “Everything went more than better.” Define it however you like it to be defined, just be sure to use it.