soapbox

One truth that I’ll relate to you since I’m currently sitting in a leather chair six and a half miles above the ground: a bulkhead row first-class seat is little better than sitting in coach.

And the “what the fuck” moment from this flight. The guy sitting across the aisle from me has a fancy thinkpad computer and for some reason thinks that hunt-and-peck typing is a good thing. Really, you spend $2500 on a nice laptop and you can’t bother to figure out how your hands are supposed to go on the keyboard! WTF! He’s also wearing a his wedding ring on the wrong hand (a platinum jobby with inset little diamonds) so there’s got to be something a little bit off in his head.

Hmm, now I have to turn the screen a little bit so he can’t read what I’m typing.

Composed November 21, 2005, at 12:03 EST. Posted who knows when.

First, the rain. All the way through MA and CT the rain was coming down so hard that it was like driving through a cloud. The spray from the vehicles was just appalling. Next, the snow. Through NY, I noticed the splatters on the windshield looked funny. Took me a little while to figure out that it was snow, not rain, hitting it. As I got closer to PA, I noticed it starting to swirl across the road, which made me not happy, because that meant it was no longer melting when it landed. Lastly, as evidenced from the “swirling”, was the wind. Sure, Percy has a nice, low profile. But he ain’t got a lot of weight to go with that profile. I was driving two-handed for most of the way through PA and part of NY. If you’ve ever ridden with me, you know I NEVER use two hands.

Oh, and I stopped in Newburgh, NY for food and gas, and there I witnessed what must be a sign of the end of the world: a sign advertising a new McDonalds, INSIDE WALMART! I stopped at Burger King.

Is anyone else coming into Manchester on Sunday the 27th? I am leaving my car here and would rather catch a ride back with someone (and pay them gas money) than wait 2 and a half hours for the bus that might be VERY full by then…

I accidently bought “carb balance” tortillas this week. Nasty. I thought (and wished and hoped) we were done with that damn carb counting craze. I was thinking “these things taste kind of like cardboard or paper” (you know, like when there’s a little cardboard stuck to the bottom of a piece of pizza or you accidently eat the paper that a taco is wrapped in). So I checked the ingredients to see if they included “wood pulp” or “recycled paper”, and guess what!? The fifth ingredient is “powdered cellulose”!! Last time I checked, cellulose was the primary component of paper. But just to make sure, I looked up cellulose in a dictionary:

cellulose: A complex carbohydrate, (C₆H₁₀O₅)_n, that is composed of glucose units, forms the main constituent of the cell wall in most plants, and is important in the manufacture of numerous products, such as paper, textiles, pharmaceuticals, and explosives.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.

So, not only do these tortillas contain paper (or explosives?), but (humourously, in my opinion), cellulose is itself also a carbohydrate. I guess that’s why they call them “carb balance” rather than “low carb”.