soapbox

“Changed planned for ‘No Child Left Behind’ program.”

I didn’t actually read the article, but what could the changes possibly be?

They have been nominated for the Flat Earth Award, and you can vote!

When I went back to my apartment last night I could still connect to woodbox.

very very odd

Well, maybe she can read Scientific American and The Economist. However, once I have a daughter, she’s definitely not reading Cosmo.

Kirsten got a copy when we went grocery shopping and I have a few complaints.
1) I wanted to get the Weekly World News because the military created a talking cat and they’re going to use it to spy on Iraq. There were even pictures of the cat parachuting into the desert.
2) One of the cover articles, “The 10-second trick that gets any woman there.”, wasn’t suggesting what I thought it should. Instead it was about exercising your PC muscles.
3) Finally, the straw that broke the camel’s back. Under “Moves that will get you Engaged!” “Hold your man’s penis in your hand and stroke it for a little while, then without moving your tongue slide it into your mouth and move your head side to side. After a few moments, hold your head still and instead move your tongue from side to side. [skipping a whole bunch now] If you can’t deep throat, have your cheerleader girlfriends teach you how. Now might be a good time to diet to get into that size 2 dress too tubby. Finally, no guy will like you unless you give them a bj anytime they want.”

Needless to say, I made up the second half, but the first half was actually even more explicit than my version. It also said that once you have a ring on your finger, you never have to do that particular act again.

I told Scott that I needed to change my strategery and then didn’t. I might have been up to $20 if I’d taken my own advice. Instead, I gave away a lot chasing losing causes.